Update #10
June 10, 1999
Littleton, Colorado
From:
Pastor Bruce Porter
I'm an Officer with the Civil Air Patrol, the official auxiliary of the USAF. In my squadron, I serve as a Moral Leadership Officer and my duties include seeking to influence young men and women in the Cadet program to seek out and live the highest standards of ethics and good character. It's a labor of love, and the 60 to 80 cadets I speak to each month come from a wide variety of backgrounds. The one thing that is common to them all however, is their desire to pursue a higher standard.
Each year on Memorial Day weekend some of these young men and women come to the National Veteran's Cemetery at Ft. Logan to place small United Statesflags on the graves there. It may seem a small and trivial thing to some, but there is something amazingly powerful about showing honor to whom honor is due. You can sense a continuity, a link with the past when walking among the resting places of those who served us all.
As President Abraham Lincoln once stated so eloquently: "It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us. . .that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion. . . that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain. . ." It is a solemn duty for each of us to honor those who have served us through their sacrifices.
I visited another grave that morning. A few miles away lies another very special veteran, and casualty from a different war, seventeen year old Rachel Scott. Even though I was still in uniform, I felt it was most appropriate to visit Rachel's resting place for she, like so many who died with her, are truly veterans of war. Unlike the last time I was at that spot, with the freshly fallen snow and the mournful presence of so many in grief, this time the air was warm, with the smell of fresh spring flowers in bloom. A quiet spring morning with bright sunshine and the chirping of birds.
I was touched by the addition of the twelve wooden crosses which had been placed there just before the Memorial Day weekend. These crosses, rejected by the City of Littleton Park authorities in their infinite wisdom, now find a permanent resting place here also, among the dead. I am moved at the sight of these symbols of such devotion and love, and yet deeply disturbed by the fact that in spite of the horrific slaughter of so many innocent children, they could not be welcomed in a public place among the living. I cannot help wondering what goes on in the hearts of those given over to such secular bigotry, that they should disdain and reject the symbols that were most meaningful in life to those slain.
As I approached Rachel's grave, I noticed that Cory Depooter, another slain student now rested beside her. Somehow, it seemed fitting that they should share this place together, being that they both were the victims of senseless violence.
I must confess that in spite of my best efforts to remain composed, I wept bitter tears as the magnitude of the loss of these young lives broke upon my heart and mind. As I walked past each of the twelve crosses, pausing to look once again at the pictures of the slain students posted upon each one, my heart broke anew at the sheer enormity of this tragedy. It's almost more than the mind can take in. If people die in a tornado, or auto accident, disease, or other unavoidable tragedy, we can somehow accept it and more easily move on with our lives. However, when such a wanton slaughter takes place, we are all disturbed in a much deeper way.
The counselors try to help us "get over it and move on with our lives." Well, I don't WANT to EVER "get over" this! I want this incident to HOWL in my mind and heart, a constant reminder of how broken this present world is, how desperately people need a revelation of the love and grace of Christ! I want to stay in a state of continual brokenhearted devotion to the high calling of God, realizing that His good news is the world's ONLY hope! If this is a dysfunctional way of life, then I embrace it as a friend and gift. Jesus told us to take up our cross daily and follow Him.
I've learned to hate "normal." It lulls one to sleep with it's siren call of comfort and false security. Just when you begin to relax, just when you allow yourself the luxury of thinking that maybe, just maybe this present world isn't so bad after all, you are rudely awakened to the harsh reality of sin in all it's myriad forms. Jesus was a "man of sorrows, acquainted with grief." Oh, He certainly had a good laugh sometimes, and I have the definite impression that He was even a bit mischievous on occasion with his disciples. Underneath it all though, He carried within Himself an understanding that men at their very best are lost children, often given to the most cruel expressions of selfishness. He had an abiding sense of Mission, for He know that as the slain Lamb of God, He is our ONLY hope for gaining freedom from our depravity.
I receive letters occasionally from well-meaning people who seek to influence me toward a more "moderate" stance with regard to the Christian gospel. Some have even intimated that we will actually cause more bloodshed by encouraging Christian students to be more courageous and bold in their personal witness. It strikes me as patently ridiculous to assume that people sharing the grace, mercy, and open-armed reconciliation and forgiveness offered by God through faith in Jesus Christ will evoke more violence. But, such are the arguments offered by sincerely motivated, yet uninformed people.
I would agree with my critics if we were advocating the advancement of "religion" in the sense of a legalistic set of strict codes of outward behavior and exclusive doctrines which would be used as a "club" to beat people into a lockstep conformity through guilt and religious manipulation. I'm going to say something here that could be misunderstood by many who tend to think that they are only as acceptable to God as their personal behavior merits. I don't think that Jesus came to institute some sort of "Behavioral Modification Program" to get people to "act" nice so God would forgive and accept them.
Rather, I believe Jesus came to die for sinners, of which
we all are. Even now. Yes, I'll admit that I'm a sinner. Why?
Because I'm not perfect. If I understand the term "Sin"
to mean that anything less than absolute perfection in any area
whatsoever, I'm definitely a sinner. Oh, I suppose it's needful
to clarify that. I've managed to avoid "the biggies"
that people usually think of when they think of a
"sinner." By the grace of God, I've remained faithful
to my wife of nearly 23 years. I'm not a thief, or an otherwise
immoral person. Also by the grace of God I'm not addicted to
alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Most of the time I'm actually able to
be really nice to people, even when they hurt or abuse me.
The sins that really give me a struggle are in the area of
thoughts and attitudes. I get angry sometimes. Once in awhile I
struggle with pride and envy, and when I've felt upset or
insecure, I've said or thought things about people in ways that I
later regret. I'm not always obedient to the prompting of the
Lord to talk to people, or minister to them as He directs.
Selfishness sometimes makes me want to hide and withdraw. I'm
even lazy at times, and don't pray nearly enough.
I hate this stuff in my life, but am comforted that the Lord never stops working by His Spirit to conform me to His image.
However, there's only one thing I hate more than these. It's hypocrisy. Why is it that so many of us who claim to be Christians work so hard at hiding our faults? Why is it that so many of us feel it necessary to expose the sins of fellow sinners around us instead of offering a message of reconciliation, grace and mercy in Jesus? None of us can find the power to overcome our brokeness without the enabling power of God's grace! Someone sent me the following poem. I think it's apropos.
When I Say.....
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved!"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
That is why I chose this way.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I am weak
and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I am loved.
Author Unknown
Rachel knew this truth. She struggled, as every Christian
does if they're
secure enough to admit it, with temptation and discouragement.
She struggled and overcame, by the word of her testimony, the
Blood of the Lamb,
and she loved not her life unto death.
One final note:
THIS IS A CALL FOR INTERCESSORS! Please pray for me. Seriously pray.
This Friday afternoon, June 11, here in Littleton we are gathering together with a group of Christian leaders to seek the Father's will and heart as to how we might corporately respond to the Columbine tragedy. I'm hoping that the "Torchgrab" rallies will be supported by a large cross-section of the body of Christ here in Littleton. We have much work to do before the fall school season begins.
On Monday, the 14th of June, I am traveling to San Francisco with Rachel's mom and two of Rachel's sisters to participate in a "Pray for the Bay" rally. They are expecting 30,000 + people to come, and we have been invited to speak. I'm praying for a prophetic word for that city, for I feel the Father is desiring to reach out to this city yet again with His love and grace. I fear for them if they reject that grace.
On Thursday, the 17th I'm in New Jersey to participate in a gathering of ministry leaders as they come together to plan "Righteousness Revolution" rallies in the New York City area for the purpose of inspiring, training, and commissioning their youth to be powerful witnesses in their schools. I'll also be speaking at a youth gathering on Friday evening. Pray that God will give me a word in season for these precious people!
There are other regional rallies being planned around the country, as God directs His servants to organize them. Please pray for me as I go to these and seek to encourage and incite them to love and good works!! The Lord is doing a mighty work in our time, and we must be diligent to obey and follow His leading.
Also pray for our upcoming "Torchgrab" rallies
here in Littleton on July 10
and August 7. There are some VERY exciting plans in the works for
these, with some highly anointed music ministries and guest
speakers participating. These will be held at the Ascot Theater
in Littleton, just down the street from Columbine High School.
More information will be made available on our Web site at: http://www.torchgrab.org
Watch for announcements!
Finally, we would welcome any financial support any of you may feel moved to send to help defray the costs of the rallies. None of us are receiving any compensation whatsoever for these efforts. Every penny we receive goes exclusively for the direct expenses of Torchgrab. We simply haven't had time to do any fundraising for these events. I realize that some will criticize for even mentioning the subject of funds, but anything worthwhile requires some sacrifice. We think it's worth an investment. Donations may be sent to:
Torchgrab
8050 W. Coal Mine
Littleton, CO 80123
Thanks,
Pastor Bruce Porter
Celebration Christian Fellowship
Littleton, CO
http://www.pcisys.net/~cellebrate
http://www.torchgrab.org
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